EVERYONE seems to have provided either a partially or entirely inaccurate definition of what a Cleveland Steamer actually is. This classic and creative move is indeed a way to ensure that any desired break-up with a particular girl is accomplished without chance of reconciliation! Okay, THIS is how to perfectly execute a Cleveland Steamer: First, get your soon-to-be-ex drunk to the point of passing out. This serves two purposes. One, it allows you to precisely carry out the defecation on her chest without protest. Two, it almost assures that, because she drank so damn much, she will be even MORE sickened by the stench when she wakes in the morn. But back to the instructions. After passing out, the victim (girl) must be carefully placed in her bed with the covers pulled back. At this time, strip off her top and lay the longest, smokiest and smelliest logs possible directly on, around and between her tits. One may prep for this by eating lots of green vegetables, collard greens in particular, then smoking a pack of menthol cigarettes and eating jalapeno poppers at the same time. After dropping your shit pudding on her chest, and this is very important, pull the covers (preferably including at least two wool blankets and a down comforter) up over her head. If need be, leave her nostrils uncovered so that she won't suffocate. Then, after "blanketing" the smoking poo on her chest with as many covers as are available, turn the thermostat in her room up as high as it will go. If you can run that heat upwards of 90-95 degrees, DO IT! After a night of her poo pot pie literally baking on her chest under the multi-layered covers AND with a room temp of around 90 degrees, she will indeed wake to the smell in this steamy sauna of shit that will make her WISH she was engulfed by the smell of something much more tolerable, like the stench of rotting possum carcasses in the desert heat. THIS, my friends, is the REAL Cleveland Steamer!!!
"I hated Candace's sorry ass so much that I thought I was actually gonna have to kill her to get rid of that nagging bitch once and for all. Fortunately, I cleverly decided to use the ole Cleveland Steamer ploy, which both got rid of her for good and kept me from going to prison! Cleveland Steamers rock, man!!!"
door Larry Tird 3 augustus 2009
It is the ultimate way to end a relationship. Basically, it boils down to having goodbye sex followed by a laying down of the fecal matter upon the chest of your now ex-partner. >:)
She may have broken up with me but I think I got the last laugh with that cleveland steamer I graced her with after.
door Charles Ulysess Farley 20 augustus 2005
The act of defecating on your partner.
I recieved a cleveland steamer on my face two days ago, and I still have corn stuck in my teeth.
door Yat 20 december 2003
Having a woman give you a blow job, while you are taking a hugh shit
she lost a bet, so I gave her a cleveland steamer
door THE D.O.M. 23 december 2008
while the female is on all 4's the male stands over her faceing the opposite direction. Then the male spreads the females ass cheeks and squats. the male shits down the females ass crack and then turns around and rubs his cock down in the females ass crack
*only to be preformed on first date sistuations*
jonny gave ann a cleveland steamer on their first date.
door parnelli 25 februari 2009
A cleveland steamer is where you hollow out a melon, fill it with cottage cheese, and then during sex, the man places his testicles in the cottage cheese, while his penis is inbetween the woman's big toe and second biggest toe and then proceeds to have sex with the woman's foot.
Well, we have a melon and some cottage cheese, let's do a cleveland steamer.
door DOUGxc 10 mei 2006
When a guy takes a dump on a girls chest and then proceedes to titty bang her.
That cleveland steamer sure was nasty to Sarah, but she likes it better than a dirty sanchez.
door TheBig Lebowski 1 augustus 2009
To give someone a Cleveland Steamer the right way you must shit on a womans chest and the shit MUST be steaming. This is much easyer to do when it is cold outside since the shit will come out warm and it will steam.
Jim gave Kristin a Cleveland Steamer.
door Philip Saurman 17 april 2005

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