This is when your phallus is hard at the most inappropriate time (i.e. work, church, school, etc.) and you have to put it over your belly button and hold it with a belt. Word of caution: no hugs and don't dap up your homies where a partial hug might be given.
Mental conversation with yourself: "Man I hope no one notices my belty. I hope the teacher doesn't call on me to come to the board."
My penis was hard while I was getting ready for church so I decided to do a belty just in case.
When two guys agree not to let the tips of their penises touch while giving each other a hug.
"I am only going to hug you goodbye if you agree to no tipping."
This is when you taste your own semen just to see why girls don't like it. This is a big time struggle for most men. You have to convince yourself that you are not gay because it belongs to you. At the same time you need to be able to tell chicks it is not that bad to swallow.
I had to pull a Know thy self to get her to swallow.
She asked me to do a know thy self and I said no.....At first.
When a man has an erection while taking a shit and it presses against the inside of the toilet.
I shouldn't have been reading that Victoria's Secret catalog while I was taking a shit. I got a ceramic headlock.
You have to make sure you wash your dick after a ceramic headlock so your girl doesnt get mad if she goes down on you.
When a man masturbates with a condom on.
I didn't want to leave any evidence so I did a greasy handle in the bathroom.
She was afraid that she would get pregnant if semen got on her, so she only would do a greasy handle.
This is when you get a hand job or masturbate with Vick's Vapor Rub to get a tingly feeling.
Have you been giving yourself a cool grip? Why do your sheets smell minty?
She gave me a cool grip. It was weird at first but then I liked the sensations.
This is when you tuck your phallus away and dance just to see what it would look like to be a female. As long as you don't dance for more than one song and you only do it once you are not gay.
I am feeling super sexy and I am home alone. John Tucker time!
Dude I caught you doing a John Tucker to Katy Perry in the mirror. Just fess up!